You will most likely never hear me say that again. After spending almost every spare moment these past few days attempting to tackle the dossier paperwork, I am looking forward to turning it all in tomorrow morning and beginning the wait. I could go on about my dr. losing the paperwork not once, but twice and then it miraculously turning up on another dr.’s desk after we were already en route to the notary, or about the multiple trips we made to our banks and the cocked head response we got when we stated we needed a letter. One CSR at our local chain bank told us she could not do it because she did not have word on her computer. She did not have word? Sic Bill Gates on her immediately. The woman at our credit union was able to whip the letter up nicely on her computer with WORD. Note to self: only use the credit union.
During this process, we have learned that the magic statement to getting everything done was to pro-actively tell them it was for our adoption paperwork. At first we reluctantly said the words, feeling as if we were using an excuse similar to someone dying to get out of a deadline, but toward the end, as our patience for CSR’s was growing increasingly thin, we whipped out that phrase with no hesitation.
It is for our adoption paperwork.
It still doesn’t seem real.
You would hardly believe some of the responses we got to our revelation statement. Most are very positive, but some of the more interesting ones are below. Keep in mind that these are complete strangers asking these questions.
- Wow, that is a noble thing to do? ….noble, well maybe, we just want a family.
- Why are you adopting? …..hmm…what is your angle with this question. I will shower you with our medical history just for asking.
- That’s kind of neat. …..yeah, it is kinda neat, isn’t it
- I know someone who adopted and their child __ (fill in the blank with either a horror story or an anecdote about how cute the kids are)
- Are you really sure you want kids? ….you think we would do this all if we were not sure?????
- What does your family think? …..what should they think
- I have a friend who adopted. …..great, now we must be BFFs
This day of enduring stupid responses & even stupider questions confirmed what I assumed: adoption is fascinating. I am thinking about renting us out as dinner party conversationalists…..having some dullards over for dinner on Friday, well no problem, just rent the adopters and there will be no lulls in the conversation.
In everyone’s defense, adoption is fascinating. Most people are not confronted with the announcement of an adoption very often and due to their lack of social graces they usually blabber about something stupid. I am certainly not the only one walking away from some of those conversations shaking my head. I was one of those stupid responders/questioners when some friends relayed info about their Russian adoption almost 6 years ago. I shamefully remember asking them why they were changing their child’s name from Alexander to Grover. As if it was any of my business? The question is not inherently wrong, but I am certain my phrasing was less than appropriate. For that, I am certain Kharma will kick me in the butt, if it has not already.